I have had single sided deafness for eight years.  I can only hear out of my left ear, the right is completely dead.  No biggie, right?

Take a second and try to imagine:

Eight years of turning around in circles to my left whenever I hear a noise I cannot see and trying to figure out where it is coming from.... .can you imagine how hard this is for a runner? I can't avoid a car that I can hear but can't see because I don't know where it is.

Eight years of telling friends, family and colleagues "I can hear you but cannot understand what you said" or "please look at me when you are talking, it helps me understand" or asking someone (at home and elsewhere) "where are you?" to have them say "here" and me responding "where is here?"

Eight years of jockeying for the best place to sit at the table in a restaurant; of asking for a different table in the same resaurant since I can NOT hear a thing in the middle of a large, noisy room; and of moving to the right side of people so I can listen with my good ear (otherwise I have to look at you when we are talking and walking.....something I don't do well, I am not the most coordinated person).

Eight years of never listening to music on headphones or a movie in the airplane (did you know that different sounds come out of different sides of your headphones ... so much for Stereo!) The things I have missed.  But I am truly thankful, as things could be so much worse.  Really, I know this and am thankful for everything that I have (and more importantly, what I don't have).

The first question people ask is "Have you always been deaf on that side?" My answer "No".  Then the follow up question is "What happened?"

So here is that answer in a nutshell: At some point, I developed an acoustic schwanoma.  Big words for a teeny, tiny benign tumor in my inner ear.  It just happened to settle into the "perfect" spot to cause the most damage.  My inner ear is dead - no hearing and no vestibular function - but lots of tinnitus (ringing in my ears) just to make things fun.

So, why write now?  What has changed and why do I feel the need to talk about it?

Well, I am very, very lucky.  I have been approved to participate in a study on the effectiveness of cochlear implants in single sided deafness....I am getting a Cochlear Implant on July 8th.  Sadly, Cochlear Implants are not FDA approved for single sided deafness (SSD) and not everyone can get one.  To that end, one of the reasons for this blog is to record my surgery, recovery, and ultimate successes and failures with learning to hear again.  I hope that the United States catches up with Europe and approves this therapy for everyone.  Speaking of FDA approval (and insurance companies too, because they don't pay for non FDA approved therapy), did you know that for most people hearing aids are not a covered expense?  Do you know HOW much hearing aids for SSD cost (at least $5,000).  You have to wear two, one on the good ear and one on the bad.  The one on the bad side transmits sound to the good side....trouble is, it doesn't work very well (refer to the first few paragraphs).

Join me on my journey and wish me luck, we start tomorrow.

Lori